Getting there

Within a week of starting an antidepressant and thyroid medication, I was ecstatic to discover I was back to my old self.  I could finally go a whole day without having to lie down due to exhaustion.  My brain came back!  I could critically think again, put full sentences together, and have complete thoughts!  I wanted to do things I used to enjoy, like run or knit or bake something new. 

And then, it hit again.  One Saturday, I stopped functioning.  The brain fog came back, I could barely find the energy to move, and all I wanted to do was sleep.  Around 2pm, I finally started feeling better.  But it made me realize that there is no magic or instant fix.  There will be good days, and there will still be bad days.  On the good days, I will enjoy spending time with my two boys.  On the bad days, I will not feel guilty for sleeping or asking for help. 

If I could offer one piece of advice to new moms, it's this:  Monitor yourself, and don't be afraid to ask for help.  Yes, exhaustion is a part of being a new mom.  But it should get better.  You may feel unhappy or just not yourself, but it should get better.  If it doesn't, please don't be afraid to ask for help or talk with your doctor.  When you start losing more and more enjoyment in life or feel like you are just trying to survive the next 12 hours before you can sleep again to escape, something has to give.  This life is too short, too unpredictable to just survive each day. 

Live your life.  Cherish each moment.  Recognize that you aren't made to do it all on your own.  Ask for help.

Road trip - North Carolina

Last week, we got the opportunity to travel with Hubby - our first real road trip as a family of four! We went to Cary, NC, which is just a few minutes outside Raleigh.  We had a great time!  Hubby got some family time after being in class all day and we got to spend some time with some dear friends.  Both boys did great - Baby Thunder slept the whole time, and Little Man had fun quietly looking out his window looking at the trucks, cars, and planes.  

We stayed at a Homewood Suites, which was amazing!  Having enough room to spread out and keep a 2 year old entertained was wonderful.  Little Man slept on the sofa bed in the "living room", and Baby Thunder stayed with us in his pack and play. 

Both boys chillin' while I get our breakfast ready

Little Man was super excited to watch the Lego Movie during breakfast.

As I said earlier, I have a dear friend that lived near Cary.  This is the same friend that watched Little Man while I worked.  Between the two of us, there were 5 children ages 3 and under.  It was so refreshing to catch up and hang out together while the kids played together (as much as toddlers play together).  

Twins, anyone?

The two youngest, only 6 weeks apart

Baby Thunder and Baby Mericle

 

 Though I forgot to take a picture, I did manage to get in a quick 2 mile run on Lake Pine near the Apex Community Lake.  A local running buddy gave me a list of a few stroller-friendly routes, and Thursday was the only day that was warm enough to run in my only pair of running shorts (I left my capris at home cuz I thought it would be warmer than 35 degrees).  The boys did great, and it was my fastest stroller run yet!  I was grateful to get a quick run in before sitting in the car for another 3 hours...

Our lunch stop - Jason's Deli!  Apparently we got dinner and a show...

Bittersweet

I became a stay at home mom today.

While I am so grateful that Hubby had a job that provides for us financially so that I don't have to work, I am going to miss my job. My patients, my team, my boss - everyone was so kind and welcoming from Day One! I am happy to be able to stay home and enjoy these little years with my boys, but I am also sad to be leaving such wonderful people. I will forever treasure the lessons I learned.

So here's to more New Adventures!

Better days

So far, last week was awful.  Little Man was having a major meltdown multiple times a day.  We had doctor appointments, Bible study, attempts at play dates that turned into a screaming battle of wills (him screaming at me, not vise versa).  Thankfully, this week is much better.  Is it a great week?  Not necessarily.  But we are managing, and I have not had a tearful breakdown.  The daily running has probably helped with that.  :)  Here is our week so far: 

My strength-training hill

This "hill" looks so easy, right?  Add a headwind/breeze and a 40+ pound double stroller, and this becomes no picnic!  So far, I've been taking the loop to run down it.  :)

Carl's ice cream in Fredericksburg

 

 

I may have over-dressed the boys for a "chilly" 70 degree run

 

Much better! After our first 2 miler together

Bedtime routine

I love this picture!  And no, Baby Thunder does not sleep with his brother.  We were reading a bedtime book as part of Little Man's routine, and Baby Thunder was starting to cry in his crib.  So, Little Man interrupts me and says, "Mommy, get Baby Funder."  Yes, he still calls him Thunder.  :)  So, I grabbed the baby, his pacifier, and my phone, and plopped him next to Little Man, who snuggled next to him.  And we finished reading Chicka Chicka Boom Boom.  :)  So for everyone who asks how Little Man likes his little brother, now you know.  :)

Open Doors

So, things have been a little quiet on the home front these days.  Blog-wise, at least.  Haven't been quite sure how to put these last few weeks into words.

Sometimes we think He opens a door, but we aren't really sure at that time, so it requires a leap of faith to go through it and see what happens.  When we cross the threshold, we can look back and see how God provided that opportunity and that it was the right decision.  Or we try to go through and it slams in our face.  And sometimes, He opens a door and shoves you through it, causing us to surrender our plans and exclaim, "It's a God-thing!"

That last one happened to Hubby and I nearly 7 weeks ago.  In the space of 3 short weeks, we went from going about our normal routine - waiting for Baby Thunder to arrive, going to our respective jobs, hanging out with Little Man - to Hubby putting in a job application with Siemens Healthcare within 2 days of hearing about an incredible opportunity, only to be turned down and offered another, more incredible opportunity that only God could have brought about.

On Monday, August 25, 2014, Hubby was offered (and accepted) a position as a Clinical Applications Specialist with Siemens Healthcare.  It is a wonderful opportunity for him, and for our family.  Down side: it is 90% very structured travel, and will require re-locating to Columbus, Ohio.  Looking at that last sentence, it is easy to think, "That sounds awful!  How can she say that this job is a 'God-thing' and a good choice for their family??"  All I can tell you is that this whole process has been so smooth, so full of unlooked-for blessings that there is no doubt that this move, this open door is God's will for our family.  Here are a few:

We will be moving to a city where all of the in-laws will be within 45 minutes of us.  We are given a year to move (thank God I don't have to pack up my wonderful house with a 4 week old!).  I can be a stay-at-home mom (though I won't take advantage of that right away).  My husband gets to combine all of his skills and talents in a job that will enable him to grow and progress, including the option of potentially, eventually relocating back down south of the Mason-Dixon line. 

Will this be hard?  Yes.  I am terrified, excited, stressed, looking forward to the future, dreading the Ohio winters, missing my family - all in the same moment.  But I can rest in peace because I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that if He has provided for us so far, He will continue to meet our daily needs as we move forward on this New Adventure!